Why being
intentional
in your relationship matters
In the fast pace of daily life—between careers, parenting, and responsibilities—it’s easy for even the strongest relationships to go into autopilot. But thriving relationships don’t happen by chance. They happen when both partners choose to show up with intention.
“LOVE IS NOT A FEELING YOU FALL INTO;
IT’S A CHOICE YOU MAKE EVERY DAY.”
Relationships are built, not found. Being intentional means choosing your partner again and again—through communication, curiosity, small acts of kindness, and a willingness to grow together.
What does it mean to be intentional
Intentionality in a relationship means you’re acting with purpose, not passively reacting. It’s about being mindful of how your actions affect your partner and your connection. This doesn’t mean everything has to be perfectly planned, but it does mean you’re not just hoping things work out—you’re actively investing in the relationship.
Making time to check in with your partner regularly
Communicating openly about needs, goals, and feelings
Showing appreciation, even for the small things
Setting boundaries that protect your connection from external stressors
Emotional Drift
Sarah and Mark had a solid foundation when they got married. But over time, their conversations became transactional—focused on logistics, parenting, and work. Without regular emotional check-ins, they started feeling like roommates. Neither of them did anything “wrong,” but they stopped being intentional about nurturing their bond.
Try this
Schedule a weekly check-in (even just 15 minutes) where you both talk about how you’re feeling, not just what needs to get done
Losing Individual Identity
When Maya and Kevin had their first child, they threw themselves into parenting. Slowly, their couple time disappeared—and so did their individual interests. They began feeling stuck and irritable, unsure of who they were outside of being parents.
Try this
Intentional couples prioritize both we time and me time. Discuss how each partner can support the other in maintaining a sense of self while staying connected as a couple.
Resentment From Unspoken Expectations
James often felt unseen at home. He quietly wished his partner would plan date nights or compliment his efforts more, but he never said anything—thinking she should just know. Meanwhile, his partner assumed he was distant because he didn’t care. They were both trying, but without clarity and intention, assumptions led to resentment.
Try this
Practice clear, compassionate communication. Express needs without blame, and invite curiosity rather than criticism.
Build empathy and open up the dialogue. Try asking “How can I support you this week?”
Create rituals of connection. It could be a morning coffee together, evening walks, or sending a thoughtful text during the day.
Consider couples therapy as a tune-up, not as a last resort
Every couple has rough seasons. Being intentional means committing to growth- even when it’s uncomfortable. Seek growth, not perfection.
Talk about your shared goals. Whether it’s planning a trip, reading a book together, or working on your budget, shared goals create forward momentum as a team.
The Gottman Method for Couples Therapy
At The Intentional Relationship, we incorporate the Gottman Method—one of the most well-researched and respected approaches to couples therapy. Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this method is rooted in over 40 years of research with thousands of real couples. What makes it so effective is its blend of practical tools and deep emotional insight. The Gottman Method focuses on strengthening the “Sound Relationship House,” which includes building love maps, turning toward instead of away, managing conflict gently, and creating shared meaning.
Evidence shows that couples who engage in Gottman-based therapy experience significant improvements in emotional connection, communication, conflict resolution, and relationship satisfaction. It doesn’t just offer a quick fix—it provides lifelong tools to navigate both everyday challenges and deeper emotional wounds. Whether you’re hoping to reconnect, repair, or simply enhance what’s already working, the Gottman Method gives couples a clear, structured path forward.
Don’t wait for things to get worse before reaching out.
Starting today.
Your relationship
is worth investing in
“Awareness is the First Step Toward Intentional Change”
